All posts by Teri

Chimera

Observe & Ponder


In the wee hours of this morning, I had a nightmare that brought me back to my younger years when I was living with my grandmother, great-grandmother, and mother in a tenement railroad apartment on Huron Street in Bridgeport, Connecticut.

My recurring nightmare back then was paralyzingly frightening: a smirking animal monster hiding at the bottom of the front door stairs of that crummy apartment waiting for me. I was never clear about what kind of animal it was, but it still scared the bejesus out of me.

That damn dream did the trick because I never dared to enter the long, dark hallway leading to the bottom of those filthy stairs for fear that something would be lurking there and, indeed, waiting for me.

And anyway, a padlock the size of my head was bolted onto the front door, making it impossible to get in or out. The only way in and out of our apartment was to climb up several levels of outdoor stairs to get to the back door of the fourth-floor tenement — one way in and out — a real fire trap.

I haven’t had that dream for over 60 years, but the evil-looking monster in this morning’s nightmare was eerily similar — except this dude was clearly a mixture of a lion and a goat.

The dream was so startling that at 3 am, I grabbed a pad and pencil and then typed the words “part lion and part goat” into my phone.

And there it was: Chimera.

According to Greek mythology, the Chimera was a female monster with a lion’s head, a goat’s body, and a serpent’s tail. Ooh, my monster dude was actually a dudette. Now, this female monster was my kind of animal.

One definition described a chimera as something hoped for but illusory and impossible to achieve in reality. This definition resonated with me.

Another relatable description read: “The Chimera represents the coexistence of opposites, such as strength and vulnerability, courage and fear, and life and death.”

Whoa. Maybe my dream was a sign and not a nightmare at all.

When I rehashed how I felt when I first saw the lion goat in my dream, I wasn’t afraid of it per se. It was more of a feeling that I needed an added level of removal or protection, if that makes any sense.

After mulling over the dream’s interpretation, I asked myself: Was I the Chimera?

I tried to get back to sleep, but all I could think about was this Chimera and the duality of her existence. Was she a conflicted role-player of sorts? Who was this Chimera to me?

Trying to get back to sleep was useless, so I made a strong cup of coffee and then parked myself at my desk for hours, searching the Internet to learn more about my Chimera.

According to Wikipedia, Homer depicted Chimera in his epic poem, The Iliad: “Her breath came out in terrible blasts of burning flame.” Hmm, according to Homer, this Chimera character had a big mouth. I was starting to like her, but unfortunately, she met a violent demise.

Also, as told in The Iliad, King Iobates of Lycia, who despised Bellerophon, the son of Poseidon, ordered him to slay the Chimera, hoping the she-monster would kill him instead.

I was fascinated by the myth and wanted to know why King Iobates despised Bellerophon so much. According to one source, Iobates received a letter from Proetus, the King of Argos and Tiryns, instructing him, “Please remove this bearer from the world: he attempted to violate my wife, your daughter.”

Okay.

Chimera’s hot breath made it impossible for Bellerophon to get close enough to kill her. So he took a large block of lead, mounted it on his spear, and using his winged horse Pegasus, he flew over her and then shot it into Chimera’s mouth.

Chimera’s fire breath melted the lead, blocked her air passageway, and suffocated her. YIKES. I guess that shut her up.

But Bellerophon got too big for his britches when he sought to ascend to heaven in a vain and foolish attempt to join the gods on Mount Olympus, angering Zeus, the God of the sky.

According to my research, Bellerophon’s demise went one of two ways:

In one scenario, Zeus orders Pegasus to drop Bellerophon from the sky to the ground, instantly killing him.

In the other, Zeus orders Pegasus to drop Bellerophon from the sky to the ground, but he doesn’t die.

Instead, he falls onto a thorn bush face-first and is blinded and paralyzed, causing him to live out his life in misery, “devouring his own soul,” until he eventually dies. Call me a monster, but I much prefer this scenario.

Eurovision 2024 Song Contest

Music


The Eurovision Song Contest is an international songwriting and singing competition organized by the European Broadcasting Union (EBU). It serves as a global celebration of unity in music, promoting diversity, artistic impression, and inclusivity. The singing competition has been held every year since 1956, making it the longest-running annual television contest on record.

The selection process varies by country. Sometimes, a country selects the artist, and the public chooses a song for them through a national final. Alternatively, EBU member broadcasters choose the song, and the public votes to decide which artist will perform it.

Eurovision 2024 will be held live in Malmo, Sweden. The Contest format comprises three live shows: The first semi-final will occur on Tuesday, May 7; the second semi-final on Thursday, May 9; and the grand finale on Saturday, May 11.

There is a comprehensive set of rules for the competition, but the main three relating to the artists and their songs are:

  • Songs must be original and no more than 3 minutes in length
  • The lead vocalist must perform live
  • No more than six performers are allowed on stage during any one performance

A total of 37 countries will compete in the 2024 Eurovision Song Contest:

Albania, Armenia, Australia, Austria, Azerbaijan, Belgium, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Georgia, Germany, Greece, Iceland, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, Moldova, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, San Marino, Serbia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Ukraine, and the United Kingdom.

The event is attended globally, with the United States and Australia among the top ticket buyers.

You can watch Eurovision 2024 in the United States on Peacock TV.

I have my personal favorites, so here are my top six choices. I tried to narrow it down to five, but Georgia’s “Firefighter” was too amazing not to highlight.

#1:

Israel: Edie Golan ~ “Hurricane”

There is continuing condemnation and talk of banning Israel from Eurovision 2024, although so far, they are still part of the competition. So much for inclusivity and unity through music. Israel submitted the song “October Rain,” which Eurovision immediately rejected and disqualified, deeming it “too political.” The song was then renamed “Hurricane” and significantly altered to make it more politically acceptable. Every time I watch the music video for “Hurricane,” I get full-body chill bumps. Twenty-year-old Eden Golan, who has faced serious death threats,  sings the last two lines in Hebrew: “Don’t need big words, just prayers. Even if it’s hard to see, you always leave one single light.” It’s my favorite entry, but rest assured, Israel will NEVER win.

#2:

Serbia: Teya Dora ~ “Ramonda”

Ramonda is a resilient flower native to the Balkans. It’s known for its remarkable ability to recover and bloom even after exposure to the harshest conditions. The song opens with the words: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” “Ramonda” is overflowing with political innuendoes, but whatever.

#3:

Albania: Besa ~ “Titan”

“Titan” is a song about empowerment, survival, resilience, strength, and determination. Titan’s message is to stand tall and unwavering in the face of adversity. Besa is a force to be reckoned with and a true “Titan” in disguise.

#4

Germany: Isaak ~ “Always On The Run”

In this song, Isaak acknowledges that there is privilege in being privileged, but he’s tired of running away from who he is. For me, “Always On The Run” is about the highs and lows of self-discovery and the pain of having to live up to the expectations of others.

#5:

France: Slimane ~ “Mon Amour”

I’m a sucker for all things French, and this Eurovision entry does not disappoint. Slimane waits and waits for his amour. It’s a simple song of love and hope—something I know a thing or two about.

#6:

Georgia: Nutsa Buzaladze ~ “Firefighter”

My personal experience with firefighters and one devastating fire made it impossible not to add “Firefighter” to my top 6 list. My favorite line in “Firefighter” is, “Did we build empires just to watch them burn?” Oh no, we didn’t. The song expresses a metaphorical fight against wars, envy, and hate.

You can stream the complete entry of songs by clicking here.

Let me know your favorite in the comments.

My Stolen Diaries — Chapter 30: Mom’s Engagement

Teri's Novelog — My Stolen Diaries, , ,

CHAPTER 30

 MOM’S ENGAGEMENT

August 15, 1966

Today was my worst day ever. Mom asked for my blessing to get engaged and marry “Rob,” explaining that getting married to a wealthy man and moving to an affluent town like Westport is everything she has been dreaming about her whole life.

I found it brazenly annoying that she would “ask” for my blessing while shoving her left hand with a diamond the size of our apartment into my face.

Mom is getting ready to live out her dream while I’m still trying to get used to Roberto’s new name. What a joke. What about my dreams?

According to Mem, Roberto goes by “Rob” in Westport because his given name is too Italian for the town. Why would Mom want to live in a place where having an ethnic name is a problem?

And Nick? That would be it for Nick. He would be banished forever—I couldn’t let Mom do that. So, I courageously told Mom, “No, I won’t give you my blessing,” even though the next day was her 28th birthday.

“I really want you to want this for me.” Mom looked at me so pathetically that I almost gave in. But I didn’t. I felt like there was nothing more to say, so I stood up to leave the kitchen table. “That’s it?” she asked me sarcastically.

“What about Nick?” I asked nervously. She glared up at me with a frown and a smirk. “Seriously, Tony? Your precious Nick can’t give us what Rob can, and you know it. Do you want to live as a poor person for the rest of your life?”

The look on her perfectly made-up face told me all I needed to know. There was no use trying to talk Mom out of marrying “Rob.” All Nick could give us was love. And while love was enough for me, I couldn’t say the same for Mom.

I told her I thought it was a terrible idea. I told her that “Rob” wasn’t good for her. I was reluctant to say anything more but knew it was my last chance to change her mind.

“So that’s it for Nick? We’re never going to see him again? And Nick or no Nick, I don’t want you to marry Roberto—oops, excuse me, Rob.”

Mom’s mascara eyes were squinting angrily at me when she said, “Nick is gone; I told him it was over.” I forced myself not to cry in front of her, and my hands were sweaty and shaking. But Mom didn’t even notice. I’m forever caught up in her drama, but she couldn’t care less. It’s always been about her.

I told Mom I wanted to say goodbye to Nick, and that’s when she got unbecomingly loud. “I said goodbye to Nick for you. That’s it for Nick. And I don’t want to hear his name come out of your mouth ever again.”

“Okay, so go live with your Rob in his fancy house in Westport, and leave me out of your drama and your dreams. I have dreams of my own.”

Mom looked puzzled. “Wait, you think I’m leaving you in this crummy apartment? I’m marrying Rob next August. We got engaged last night, and you’re coming to Westport with us, little missy.” And then she stormed upstairs, muttering, “Tony has dreams. Please.”

Wait what? I’m moving to Westport with those two immature lovebirds? Mom thinks I’m leaving Mem and Mere Germaine? Oh no. Mem would never stand for that.

Here, I was worried about living without Nick. And now Mom wants to take me away from Mem? How will I ever survive without Mem?

Click here for Chapter 31: Bridgeport Hospital

International Women’s Day: Me Too, Unless You’re a Jew

Me Too

This post is dedicated to:

Ofra. Arbel. Inbar. Maya. Noa. Carmel. Shiri. Judith. Eden. Shani. Doron. Amit. Emily. Daniella. Na’ama. Karina. Agam. Liri. Romi.

Fourteen of the 19 women named above are still presumed to be alive, while five of them were killed in captivity — their bodies rotting in Gaza.

On this International Women’s Day, don’t be afraid to say their names and pray that they come home soon like you would if they were your daughters, granddaughters, or sisters.

Until October 7, 2023, I never felt unsafe being Jewish. I now know better.

My in-laws, may they rest in peace, were Holocaust survivors and heroes to countless people whom they saved.

As a result of her trauma, my mother-in-law was obsessed with Israel, Zionism, and watching out for the enemy, which was anyone who wasn’t Jewish.

And she told me horror stories of what happened to the prettiest Jewish women and girls at the hands of the Nazis.

Her Holocaust accounts of rape, humiliation, assault, and murder of women and young girls were beyond my comprehension — until October 7, when all her fears were realized — by me.

My mother-in-law was convinced that the Holocaust could happen again and warned me to watch out for it. “It starts small,” she prophesized. I thought her paranoia came from her unfathomable Holocaust nightmare.

Now I get it.

What shocked me the most about the brutality of October 7 was the silence from so many people. People that I respected and looked up to. People I considered my friends.

But not anymore.

Women and girls were brutally raped and tortured on October 7.

Just say it.

And please don’t insult my intelligence with a “but.”

There is no but.

Speak the truth.

What the hell are you afraid of? Or maybe it’s not fear — but distaste for Jews — the others, unlike you.

If Hamas ever came into our country and raped and mutilated our women and girls, our government would annihilate them — collateral damage be damned.

And you would agree. We would all agree.

You can be against Israel. But it doesn’t give you the right to frighten and torment American Jews on American soil. How can you possibly condone Hamas terrorists sexually torturing and raping women and girls to death?

And to all those MeToo spokeswomen whom I admired and who helped me through my own nightmarish experience, your silence is heartbreakingly deafening.

In failing to condemn the raping to death of young women and girls, you MeToo bigots have shown your true colors and brought shame to yourselves and the movement.