My Birthday, First Night of Passover & Good Friday

Whenever I hear the phrase “Born on the 4th of July,” it reminds me of my own special birth mantra: Born on Good Friday.

As a child, I was often reminded by my Catholic maternal grandmother, who raised me and raised me up, that because of my Good Friday birthday, I was forever blessed.

As Friday’s child, she would tell me that I was loving and giving because this was my destiny.

She also believed that as a Good Friday child, I would be forever protected because Jesus gave His life that day so that all may live.

Ironically enough, as a young child growing up in the slums of Bridgeport, Connecticut, I didn’t feel protected or blessed at all.

Heck, I wasn’t even born Catholic. I was baptized Greek Orthodox at birth and was subsequently baptized Catholic at age six in order to attend first grade at St. Ambrose Catholic School. My entire public school kindergarten memory is filled with bullies and getting beat up every day—totally and wholly unprotected. Being baptized Catholic created for me a glimmer of hope that my bullying days would finally be over, although that’s not how it went down.

I spent the next 24 years as a practicing Catholic until, at age 31, I converted to Judaism, a nerve-wracking decision that caused a stir in my Catholic family.

The stir did not include my grandmother — she died at age 64 when I was 30 years old and one year before I converted. (Yes, you’re reading our age difference correctly.)

Had my grandmother lived, I would have never converted to Judaism because my final decision to walk away from my religion was based on an unfortunate decision a Catholic priest made — denying her of her Last Rites. And although I converted, I was never able to denounce my Catholic beliefs.

The great religious celebrations of Easter and Passover are very special and significant for me this year because the first evening of Passover coincides with the solemn Christian commemoration of Good Friday.

I feel incredibly pious and faithful because what this convergence means for me is that the celebration of the Catholic Paschal Triduum (Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday) will be aligned with the Jewish Passover feast.

If you check the Jewish calendar, Jesus died on April 3, 33, which is also the date of Good Friday this year. And based on my research, the last time that the Roman calendar, the Jewish calendar, and the Western Liturgical calendar coincided was in 1863.

And since Passover starts every year on the 15th day of Nissan, and the Hebrew months are based on a lunar (moon) cycle, the first night of Passover, when Jews sit down to their Passover Seder, is always a full moon.

But the coincidence and confluence that makes this occasion so very special and blessed for me is that my birthday is April 3, and this is the first time it has fallen on Good Friday since the year I was born.

My grandmother waited and waited for Good Friday to fall on my birthday again, but it never did. And after she died, I waited and waited for Good Friday to fall on April 3 again, in the hopes of some sort of karmic connection, but it never did.

How utterly thrilled and moved I was when I discovered that not only was my birthday going to fall on Good Friday this year but also that it would fall on the first night of Passover.

So when I say my prayers on Good Friday and the first night of Passover, April 3rd, as an ex-Catholic and practicing Jew, and gaze upon the radiance and splendor of the full moon, I will fondly remember my grandmother and hope that her spirit will be all around me, blessing and protecting, just like she always did in life.

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Wedding Centerpieces that Can Save the World

Okay, maybe I hyperbolize when I say wedding centerpieces can save the world.

But my suggestion could certainly save one person’s world.

Many of my friends and relatives are getting to the age where they are helping their children plan and finance their weddings. And according to the majority of them, most couples are spending about 8-10% of their total wedding budget on flowers.

I also discovered from reading several wedding websites that the centerpiece is considered the major focal point at the reception.

Maybe it’s just me, but when I attend a wedding, my focal point is on the bride and groom.

The claim is as guests walk in, they can indulge in the fabulous table decor that you put so much energy, time, and effort into creating. (BTW, nowhere on those websites did I see anything about how ridiculously expensive centerpieces can be.)

According to my per-usual online research, the latest and greatest table statements are the “towering centerpieces.” The argument for tallness is to avoid blocking anyone’s view. No self-respecting about-to-be-married couple would want to do that. The higher the centerpieces, the better to see you, my dear.

To all you future brides out there, I would venture to guess that these “towers” are going to eat up way more than 8-10% of your wedding budget. And that is not including the bridal and bridesmaid bouquets, flower girl head wreath, her basket of rose petals, mother/mother-in-law flowers, boutonnieres, altar arrangements, pew, and chair décor, the toss bouquet, and cake flowers. Cha-ching, cha-CHING.

I hear ad nauseam from my friends and family who are planning weddings and other momentous occasions about the rarest of flowers sitting atop Eiffel Tower vases filled with water and beta fish (I’ve seen this one for myself), clusters of orchid blossoms, and baby’s breath on gleaming silver candelabras adorned with smokeless dripless tapers (I’ve seen this one too), and black magic roses hanging from eight-foot branches with moonbeam uplighting.

Oh, and let’s not forget the twister-inspired florals that create resplendent movement, horizontal pussy willows draped high above tables on gold spun wire, floral arrangements designed to resemble clouds at sunset, upside-down Christmas trees adorned with crystal birds, blah, blah, blech.

 

 

For anyone who knows my personality and blogging style, I just can’t resist scrutinizing the incredibly opulent, not to mention costly “focal points.” These floral monuments can cost upwards of $500-$600 per table. Probably more.

Let’s talk.

Dripless tapers: Nothing like a little fire to get the party started. And don’t forget to cluster the candles with baby’s breath to help it along.

Beta Fish: Otherwise known as Siamese fighting fish. Seems like a bad wedding omen to me.

Horizontal Pussy Willows on a wire of gold: Puleeze.

And call me stupid, but when I envision twisters, the word resplendent doesn’t even cross my mind.

Are we really serious here?  Whatever happened to the mantra “People are starving in Africa.” And okay, maybe most aren’t focusing on the starving and suffering when choosing flowers for their wedding.

But what if they did?

As I trolled around the internet looking at all the centerpiece and floral options—and the cost, I couldn’t help but envision a more philanthropic option.

So look no further than this blog post for some great centerpiece ideas. Your exhaustive internet searching is over. As my wedding gift to you, I have gathered some impressive information, so rest those little phalanges and read on!

First, take a look at this towering masterpiece below.

tall-centerpieces-wedding-5

I won’t even try to guess at the cost of this monstrosity. But if you look very closely, you’ll see the itsy bitsy frame with a table number. This is the masterpiece I want to discuss.

How about taking away that gaudy centerpiece and keeping it really simple. Just a small frame with a table number that could say:

Welcome to Table #1. In lieu of a candelabra, we helped young Leah, who has been living a life of neglect and hardship, to pursue her dream of a life of stability and success by providing her with a dress for a job interview.

Welcome to Table #2. Instead of an Eiffel Tower vase full of rare flowers, we provided teenager Sam, who usually goes entire days without food, with a full day of healthy, nourishing meals.

Welcome to Table #3. Rather than black magic roses hanging from an eight-foot birch branch, we gave a homeless kid, who usually sleeps on the streets, a clean, warm bed and a safe and good night’s sleep.

Welcome to Table #4. There is no floral arrangement at this table in order to provide two homeless kids with a week of groceries.

Welcome to Table #5. Instead of pussy willows hanging from a string of gold, we provided a warm winter coat for a homeless child.

Welcome to Table #6. This table is void of floral accouterments because we used the money to pay for doctor visits for five homeless children.

Welcome to Table #7. In lieu of a floral arrangement, we donated a week’s worth of transportation for someone who is receiving kidney dialysis.

Total bill for the above:  $431.00

Oh, and instead of throwing money away on bouquets, and the rest of that nonsensical nonsense, take a look below at just a handful of ideas to make better use of your money:

Bouquet of photos

Newtown Action Alliance

Prevent Child Abuse America

The Center for Victims of Torture

Animal Welfare Institute

National Military Family Association

Children’s Health Fund

Covenant House

American Kidney Fund

Guide Dog Foundation for the Blind

Breast Cancer Research Foundation

Child Find of America

Save the Children

Mental Health America

Starlight Children’s Foundation

Scholarship America

To all of you soon-to-be-married couples out there, I would like to say:

Lifelong love and happiness is the reason, devotion and friendship is the gift, kindness and empathy is the glue, and until death do you part is the lastingness.

And if any of you brides decide to take my suggestions, please let me know. I would love to write a follow-up blog piece about it.

Eat, Drink & Be Merry—But Chew Well

Heimlich

I recently hosted a dinner party at my house, when all of a sudden my friend Robin clutched at her throat and began to gasp for air.

My husband loudly proclaimed that “Robin’s choking!” Robin’s husband emphatically instructed her to “drink some water!”

My panic-stricken friend with her mouth wide open, goggle-eyed me helplessly. There was zero chance that water was going anywhere down that throat. Robin indubitably required the Heimlich maneuver.

I wasn’t sure how to do it, and I pathetically looked to my husband for guidance. As he jumped up from the table to come over to Robin, I was praying that he knew how to administer the abdominal thrust and could save her—without breaking any ribs.

In the meantime, Robin’s husband frantically asked no one in particular if he should hit her on the back, and I anxiously responded that I didn’t think it was a good idea.

Bottom line was that the three of us were trying to figure out what the hell we were going to do about the situation, while my BFF was choking to death.

Even though I had glanced at the posters in countless restaurants, and seen the Heimlich maneuver dramatized on television, I had absolutely no clue what to do beyond squeezing around the stomach area.

It seemed interminably longer than the few seconds it took for Robin to dislodge the piece of lobster tail from her air passage on her own.

Several minutes after Robin recovered from her terrifying experience, she looked at me teary eyed and said “It didn’t seem like the three of you were going to do anything to help me, so I was just about to throw myself against your kitchen island.”

We had all been total Heimlich failures.

In order to break the tension, I nervously prattled on about the time a few years ago, that I attempted a semi Heimlich maneuver—on myself.

I was at a power lunch in Manhattan with several luminary magazine editors and publishers, when I choked on a rather large piece of radicchio. For those of you who are not familiar with radicchio, it is very crunchy and fairly immovable.

It was eminently clear to me that in order to protect my glam reputation, I was going to have to dislodge the leafy vegetable from my constricted throat on my own. ASAP.

I casually but quickly removed myself from the table and ran past the bar and the bartender. Stupid move. I bolted into the ladies room and locked the door. Another stupid move.

I then proceeded to hurl my body about the room, the wall, the stall door, and anything else I could bounce off of. I finally reached in with my hand and grabbed that sucker, throwing it onto the bathroom floor.

As I slumped against the paper towel dispenser, there was frantic banging on the bathroom door. Apparently the bartender had heard the commotion and was concerned. Duh.

I was able to collect and wipe myself off, and returned to my table of VIP’s like nothing had happened.

By the time I finished telling Robin my Radicchio Story, she was cracking up and almost back to herself. Albeit very shook up.

Of course, after my guests left, I did my usual online research, and it turns out that hitting Robin on the back wasn’t entirely incorrect.

The Red Cross actually recommends a “five-and-five” approach to delivering first aid:

First, deliver five back blows between the person’s shoulder blades with the heel of your hand.

Second, perform five abdominal thrusts (also known as the Heimlich maneuver).

Alternate between 5 blows and 5 thrusts until the blockage is dislodged.

For a complete first aid breakdown, and instructions on how to perform the Heimlich maneuver, go to the Mayo Clinic choking section.