Bully Bosses–You Know Who You Are

Bullies

bully-boss

Since it is Freedom from Workplace Bullies Week (October 18-24, 2015), I thought I would blog about those obnoxious, sadistic bully bosses, who would use an elephant gun to shoot a mosquito.

Everyone deserves a safe, healthy workplace, and yet according to the Workplace Bullying Institute, a staggering 35% of the U.S. workforce (approximately 53.5 million Americans) report being bullied at work. And an additional 15% have witnessed workplace bullying, which means that 50% of all Americans have directly experienced bosses who bully.

Unlike schoolyard bullying, the workplace target is not bullied because they are small, weak, shy, or without friends to stand up to their perpetrator. Bully bosses target those who they perceive pose a threat to them. Bosses bully because they are insecure and lack self-confidence and self-esteem.

There is a common perception that bosses who bully see themselves as better than others. But this is a misnomer. Bully bosses target workers who are more successful or brighter than they are. For the most part, targets are more technically skilled than their boss bullies. The targets are more often than not, the seasoned professionals to whom other staff members turn to for guidance because they are patient, empathetic, better liked, and easier to approach.

Targets are likely to have more social skills, are kinder, are better respected, and are more helpful than their bully bosses. Targets are ethical and honest. And unlike their nasty bully bosses, they play by the rules and exhibit exceptional qualities, like a desire to assist, heal, teach, develop and nurture others.

Bully bosses thrive in small companies, which means that if you work for an organization with few employees, your probable only choice is to find another job.

Most bully bosses can’t stand to share credit for the recognition of talent and they often steal credit from skilled targets. Bully bosses abhor those diligent employees who are popular and bring warmth to the workplace. In summary, bully bosses don’t play well with others—just like in the schoolyard.

And how about those wimpy HR people who will confide to you (orally) that your bully boss is a jerk, but there’s nothing they can do about it. After all, it’s not against the law to be a jerk.

Yes, to put it mildly, bosses who bully are jerks. And make no mistake about it HR “experts,” bully bosses can wreak havoc on an organization, and severely hinder a company’s ability to generate a positive and innovative work environment.

Here’s what I’d like to say to all you bully bosses out there:

Your tactics of humiliating, shaming, and embarrassing your subordinates, serve only to expose YOU as the pitiful person you truly are—a coward, ignorant, repulsive, unlikable, and downright detestable.

The only person you embarrass, humiliate and shame is yourself.

Book Marketing Flyer for Dummies

Marketing & Publishing, , ,


Anyone with Word can create this easy do-it-yourself sell sheet.

As a member of the National Association of Book Entrepreneurs (NABE), my novel Our Romantic Getaway was recently included in their marketing efforts at the 2015 Pacific Northwest Booksellers Show in Portland, Oregon.

As a follow-up, I wanted to send a marketing flyer to all of the potential buyers who visited their booth and/or had expressed interest in my book.

I went online and researched how to put together an effective sell sheet, but was unable to find anything that I could tailor for my personal use. I am a fan of Vistaprint.com for printing postcards, business cards, and other advertising materials, but they had no templates available that appropriately fit my marketing needs.

So I did a little cut and paste job in Word and voila, I came up with an attractive, cogent marketing tool.

I purchased white 8.5 x 11 card stock (65 lb) and fed the paper through my printer feeder—the front page first, and then placed the completed front page back into the feeder for the back section.

You can download this PDF to see the final product. Our Romantic Getaway Book Flyer

Below is a quick and easy guide to a DIY marketing flyer:

Keep your sell sheet clean and simple. It’s better to include detailed information about a couple of things than to have bits of partial information about a lot of things.

Include a quote, excerpt of a review, blurb, or endorsement from a well-known person or well-respected authority. Including any awards, your book has received will give you credibility as an author.

Flyers with color will almost always stand out from plain black and white flyers. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on the flyer, and if you have a color printer you can print them yourself. If you don’t have a color printer and don’t want to spend the money to have your flyer professionally printed, you can use brightly colored printing paper with bold black text to make sure your flyer stands out.

You don’t want to risk producing a flyer with sub-standard print quality, so while it may be cost-effective to use your own printer, Kinkos, Staples, Office Max, or any similar retail printing establishment can provide affordable flyer printing services. You want your final product to look as professional as possible, so make sure your printer can provide the quality you need.

And don’t forget to make sure your contact information is easy to locate. Offer clear instructions on how to reach you or how to take advantage of your promotion.

If you set up your flyer in Word, your first side should highlight your book cover only. That’s what you’re trying to sell right? The second side of the flyer will include all the other information.

Here is what I included on my flyer:

    • A photo of the book cover (I copied a jpeg of my cover and pasted it into Word)
    • Title of the book (I also placed an award sticker on my front page)
    • Author name
    • Brief description (See my article Write the Perfect Book Blurb for tips)
    • Publisher
    • Category
    • Format
    • ISBN#
    • Pages
    • Retail Price 
    • Contact Information (Mailing address, e-mail, website, blog, telephone)
    • Author Photo (I printed out a photo, using double-sided tape to added it to the flyer)
    • About the Author
    • If you are available for book signing events, add a line saying so
    • A quote, excerpt of a review, blurb, or endorsement from a well-known person or well-respected authority.
    • Relevant PR or marketing plans) (only if you have room)

If you are mailing the flyer, try to call ahead and get the name of the manager. If you don’t know the name of the manager you can address it as “Attention: Book Buyer.”

If you are visiting the local bookstores in your surrounding area, ask to speak to the manager of the store. If the manager is not available, leave the flyer anyway. But make sure to ask for the manager’s name so you can contact or mail them at a later date.

Introduce yourself as a local author, and encourage them to order your book and stock it in their store. Emphasize the fact that you plan on promoting your book extensively in the area and would like to tell people where they can find it for purchase, i.e. recommending their store. You may also decide to leave a copy of your book for their review.

If the bookstore enjoys lots of traffic, etc. and you wish to conduct a book signing there, ask the manager if he or she is interested in hosting a book signing. Most bookstore managers love hosting events, particularly with a local author that will encourage patrons to buy books from their store.

If your flyer is more of a marketing tool for readers, let them know where to purchase your book. If the book is carried by only one or two wholesalers, list them. If handled by a distributor, make sure to include the distributor’s name and 800#.

Sometimes it takes more than one mailing to interest a potential buyer so don’t give up too quickly.  And don’t expect miracles. Marketing is a process. It takes time. Look how long it took you to write your book!

Health Care and Gun Control

Gun Violence

ShootingcolumbineShootingVirginiaTech

ShootingauroraShootingNewtownShootingRoseburg

April 20, 1999-Columbine High School: 13 dead and 21 wounded

April 16, 2007-Virginia Tech: 32 dead and 17 wounded

July 20, 2012-Aurora Century 16 Theater: 12 dead and 70 wounded

December 14, 2012-Sandy Hook Elementary School: 26 dead

October 1, 2015-Umpqua Community College: 9 dead and 7 wounded

STUFF HAPPENS?

That’s just BS Jeb Bush, aka Mr. Wanna-be-the-President-of-the-United-States. And you know it.

But without the NRA on your side, your political goose is cooked. And after your insensitive and unpresidential comment about “stuff,” I hope your political goose is decimated.

And make no mistake about it: Our elected officials don’t control the NRA. The NRA controls our elected officials.

These officials, whom we voted into office, need to stop kowtowing to the NRA and do something bold and courageous. And we need to put pressure on those officials and force them to effect change and take charge of getting us on the right path. It is up to us to force our elected officials to curb gun violence in America and protect the safety of the public.

I have always felt that we need stricter gun laws. But I also think that our elected officials need to significantly reform our mental health system. Guns and mental health issues are a cataclysmic combination.

And until we as Americans take the necessary steps to ensure that our representatives in Washington, D.C. are looking for solutions, “stuff” is going to continue to happen. BAD STUFF. DEVASTATING STUFF. HEARTBREAKING STUFF.

The U.S. loses 90 people every day from gun violence. And since our elected officials are incapable or plain old afraid to do anything about it, it’s time for the entire country to stand up and take charge.

And sorry to inform you Jeb, your simpleminded opinion that “stuff happens” just doesn’t cut it.

Baa Baa Black Sheep

Family & Relationships,

Black Sheep
Out to dinner with a friend a few weeks ago, she gloomily confided in me that she was the “black sheep” of her family. Her sorrowful declaration raised the hair on my arms and gave me the chilly willies for two reasons:

1. She is beautiful, successful, generous, compassionate, considerate, well-grounded, strong, selfless, and a loving and nurturing mother and wife. The type of woman that anyone would aspire to be.

2. Over the years, I’ve heard this expression more often than I would like to admit. And worse, I’ve heard it used to refer to me. Many times. So many times, that I developed “Black Sheep Syndrome,” if there is such a thing.

So the two of us bitterly asked each other what I have been asking myself for close to fifty years:

Why and how does a child become the black sheep of their family?

When I got home from dinner that night, I looked up the Baa Baa Black Sheep nursery rhyme. Baa Baa Black Sheep is an English poem, dating back to sometime around 1731. But very little is actually known about its origins. While I found several interpretations of the words, there was little to no evidence to support any of them.

I also found several variations of the rhyme, although the one that I prefer is the Mother Goose Melody published sometime in 1765. This version is usually sung to the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” and the “Alphabet Song.” The last couplet is printed as “But none for the little boy who cries in the lane,” as opposed to “One for the little boy who lives down the lane.”

Mother Goose’s version:

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes, marry, have I,
Three bags full;
One for my master,
One for my dame,
But none for the little boy
Who cries in the lane.

A common interpretation is that the rhyme was against Medieval English taxes on the wool industry.

But I don’t really understand the black sheep part. It doesn’t take a genius to know that white wool is more desirable in the commercial marketplace because it can be dyed any color. Black sheep in a flock, are useless in terms of wool production as it is impossible to dye its fleece. A fleece with even a few black fibers is considered less than desirable.

So if the wool from a black sheep is impossible to dye, rendering it useless, and undesirable, it would be unsaleable, thus no need to tax it at all.

Whatever the reason the rhyme depicts black instead of white, it’s obvious that the undesirable and uselessness of the black sheep is what gives us the term “the black sheep of the family.”

And okay, I can see a sheep farmer who makes a living from wool, considering the black sheep a wastrel. But a family?

Black sheep is a phrase used to describe a pariah, a reject, and a ne’er-do-well, especially within a family unit. Someone who is ostracized and treated differently from the rest. A distasteful outcast, who just doesn’t belong.

Nothing for the little boy who cries in the lane.

Yes, I’m called the black sheep in my family. And I’m finally proud of it.

There I said it. And the best realization and revelation for me is that I actually do feel pride.

And here is my take on the whole “black sheep” defamation:

The family black sheep don’t get picked randomly or by accident. The black sheep are sensitive, unhappy, vulnerable, and usually the outspoken child. The one who refuses to stay silent and just can’t and won’t pretend to be one big happy family.

The designated black sheep is made to carry the hidden blame and shame of relatives who refuse to acknowledge their own flaws and weaknesses.

Toxic and dysfunctional family members tend to project their own jealousies and sense of inferiority onto the shunned and disfavored black sheep.

And even if the black sheep eventually leaves (or is thrown out of) the familial flock, it doesn’t end there. The hated black sheep is more than likely still considered the cause and reason for the family’s difficulties and unhappiness, no matter how much time has passed.

Because the family’s need to place blame and project shame onto the black sheep is the only way, they can live with themselves.
Black Sheep Nursery Photo Cropped