Two Hearts and a Yin Yang

September 15, 2015Family & RelationshipsTeri

In 1995, I received the Rosh Hashanah card above, from my then seven-year-old daughter Ariel.

It was the first card she ever gave to me. And she sent it via the post office, stamp and all. I was impressed.

The Rosh Hashanah card arrived on September 25, which coincided with my late grandmother’s birthday. So it had even more significance for me.

When I opened it, there were two hearts—one purple and one red. Connecting the two hearts was a red and purple blob.

“The little purple heart is me,” Ariel said proudly. “And the big red heart is my brother.” (Her brother and my first born, was eleven years old at the time.)

“And the yin yang in the middle is you, Mommy.”

I was the yin yang?

To fully comprehend the significance of being the yin yang, I looked it up in the dictionary.

Two principles, one negative and feminine (yin), and one positive and masculine (yang), whose interaction influences the destinies of creatures and things.

At that moment, I felt terribly important. Almost overwhelmingly so.

In an instant, I forgot about all the tsuris which was eating away at me. I put aside how tired I was, and how defeated I felt.

And the constant drudgery of work, work, work, suddenly became more palatable.

And even my divorce, several years earlier, shattering my dreams and my children’s innocence, seemed almost acceptable at that moment in time.

“I can do this,” I recall saying to my weary self.

Because I was the Yin Yang in my daughter’s life.

The red and purple he/she that conjoined two very special hearts.

My Memory of 9/11

September 11, 2015PoetryTeri

I wrote the following short story on January 8, 2002:

New Yorkers are known as pushy, arrogant, loud, and unfriendly. That’s the nice stuff said about us. I say we have our reasons.

First, let’s talk about the crowds in New York. Have you ever seen so many people? The streets are clogged, the restaurants are packed, and the subways and buses are like sardine cans.

Our pushiness is really a survival tactic. In order to get from point A to point B in some reasonable amount of time and in one piece, one needs to be assertive. And when dealing with so many people, we New Yorkers have to stand up for ourselves. Thus the arrogance.

Loud? Well, how else will we be heard? And unfriendly? Maybe we should say hello to every one of the thousands of people we pass daily. As Billy Joel so succinctly put it: New Yorkers are in a “New York state of mind.”

A pathetic creature of habit, I catch the 8:01 Long Island Railroad train every morning. I get on the same car and sit in the same seat. Then at Penn Station, I take the same E subway car to West 4^th Street and get out at the same subway exit. I then walk on the same side of the street for six blocks to my office on lower Broadway. On the way home, I precisely reverse the entire trip.

Every day my round trip, six-block, same-side-of-the-street walk on Broadway went like this:

I would pass a police command station permanently parked outside of Washington Square Park by New York University. In the morning, there was always the same police officer – a graying man in his fifties, bopping up and down to old rock and roll music wafting from his mobile post.

Every day I would get about a half block away from his post and try to guess what music he was playing. Sometimes it was Elvis or The Beach Boys; sometimes it was Frankie Valli singing “Big Girls Don’t Cry.”

On the way home in the evening, I would pass the command post just about the time that the morning and evening officers were changing shifts. The evening officer was in his mid-twenties and his music of choice was Billy Joel and U2.

I got to know their names –Officer Tommy in the morning and Officer Kevin in the evening. Kevin would occasionally play Beatles music and every time he did, I would compliment him on his choice, and tell him how much I liked it. When he started to play more and more Beatles music, Tommy would tease Kevin and say that he was playing Beatle music for “Madam Publisher.” Kevin would blush and give Tommy a friendly jab on the arm and tell him to “cut it out.”

And then came 9/11.

Following the horrific events of that day, our offices were shut down for a few days. My first day back into the city and back into my routine was a tough one.

After 9/11, my “normal” routine was painfully different, and I wondered if anything would ever be normal again. At the train platform, the commuters looked shell shocked and walked from person to person asking about others they hadn’t seen since the attack. We shared our good and bad news with each other. Who was okay and who was “missing.”

On the E subway, everyone seemed nervous, and we all looked sadly at each other when the conductor made his announcement: “Next stop on the E to World Trade Center is West 4^th Street.” When I got off the subway, I walked numbly toward Washington Square Park.

The smell was unbearable, and I panicked at the thought of what it could be. There were flyers everywhere—faces of hundreds of men and women hanging on telephone poles, fences, park benches, trees.

As I approached my half block point from the police station, I heard the faint sound of a Beatles ballad. “I’m looking through you” was playing in the background while people walked in a haunted daze. The flyers were blowing all over the sidewalks and streets and along with everyone else, I carefully avoided stepping on them. Many passersby wore facemasks. It all seemed terribly surreal.

In the distance, I saw Officer Tommy running toward me saying, “Thank God, you’re okay. I haven’t seen you in a while. I thought something happened to you.” And he hugged me incredibly hard. I felt a little awkward so I tried to lighten up the mood. “The Beatles music,” I said to him “It’s so sad. We need your rock and roll music today.”

With his hands on my two shoulders, he looked at me through tears and said “Kevin, the night cop—you know, the kid—he’s missing. He went to the World Trade Center to help that morning and no one has seen him since.”

Then it was my turn to get teary, and with his hands still on my shoulders, we stared in each other’s eyes, slightly embarrassed.

And when the song “Blackbird,” started playing in the background, I began to cry, and we hugged again.

Officer Tommy was crushed. “He was my son’s age,” he said. “I lost so many friends. So many gone, just like that. How do we recover from this?”

I didn’t answer him, but I was fairly sure we would never recover from “this.”

As we embraced each other on the sidewalk, all I could think of was to lie to him and tell him that time heals all wounds.

We were an unlikely pair, the two of us. A police officer from the 6^th precinct being comforted by the chief operating officer of an international news magazine.

Every day we would talk for a few minutes on my way to the office. He was going to ground zero most days after his shift to help “bring his brothers home.”

On the way home—at the evening shift, it was always a different officer.

And the evening shift music was gone.

Not even Officer Tommy played music anymore.

One morning Tommy broke down and was trying to hold back his tears.

I told him that I found that keeping a journal was good therapy and that he should try writing everything down.

I assured him, even though it was another lie, that he could get rid of his pain through words. “I’m no writer. I’m a New York City cop,” was his reply.

But he followed my suggestion and began to write. On my way into work some mornings he would give me various things he had written and asked me to check his spelling. I loved his writing – I felt he had real talent and told him so.

Then one day he too was gone.

At first, I thought maybe he was on vacation. But after a week, I figured he was probably not coming back. And like the evening shift, there was someone different there every day.

I finally stopped one morning and asked the officer on duty what happened to Tommy. “He’s gone. He retired from the force. He couldn’t take the job no more.”

I often wonder why he never gave me a heads up or said goodbye.

Some might say he was a typical New Yorker.

The last time I saw Officer Tommy, he had given me the poem below for me to read.

I never even got the chance to tell him what I thought about it.

HONOR GUARD AT GROUND ZERO – Police Officer Thomas B. – 6^th Precinct

Rake gently over our brother’s grave

Speak softly where he sleeps

His soul ascends

His spirit raised

Raised well above these ruins of death

He speaks to us

We stand erect

Amid the numbing breeze of winter’s breath

We salute our brother and raise our palms

Raised well above our breast

Our palms outstretched

We crease our brows, our minds, our hearts

Where underneath our brother lies

In sorrow, we salute him

The Eyes Have It

September 4, 2015Observe & PonderTeri

Portrait of Teri
Portrait of me painted by my daughter
Ariel when she was ten years old, and
one of my most prized possessions.

Research has confirmed that viewing a human face, sets off a unique reaction in our brains. For humans, faces are among the most important visual stimuli.

A myriad of information can be extracted from a single glance at a face, including their identity, emotional state, their level of engagement, and even their internal thought processes at that moment in time.

I feel very much the same about the human face and form in stone, bronze, pencil, paint, chemicals or photographs. Any human face in art form always draws me in, and the subtle deviations in figural appearance fascinate me. But it’s the eyes that evoke a particularly salient emotional cue for me.

As a writer, I’m always using words to explore emotions—either to express my own feelings or to evoke emotions in others.

So when I view a face in any art form, that haunts, calms, exhilarates or saddens me, I find myself asking the same question over and over again.

Are the feelings I’m experiencing, a mirror image of the artist’s emotional state at the time the work was created?

Whatever mood the facial imagery evokes in me, I can’t help but feel an affinity with its creator, assuming that he or she was feeling similarly affected at the time of its conception.

The facial images that affect me have nothing to do with its monetary worth. Its value comes from a sense of profoundness, and a feeling near impossible to express.

Below are but a few examples of images that are near and dear to me, although I’ve never been able to articulate exactly why.

Please share by posting some of yours?

The Easy, Breezy Summer Dinner Party

August 28, 2015Entertaining & RecipesTeri

I love love love to throw a party. My friends call me Martha Stewart—sans the jail time. And sorry, but no one BBQ’s like me!

Unfortunately, cooking at home has mostly been replaced by dining out as a means of entertaining. But there is nothing more gracious than entertaining at home. And hospitality isn’t about your house, furniture or even the food. It’s about the heart.

Make it easy on yourself by setting your table a few days before. Just remember that careful planning ahead of time will make for the most successful night.

The following party tips and menu suggestions will provide ideas for a spectacular party guaranteed to impress your guests gourmet style.

I will also share some clever ideas to keep your guests happy and occupied, and keep yourself stress-free from start to finish.

There are three secrets to a great indoor or outdoor summer dinner party.

The first is the grill.

The second is the grill.

The third? Yep. It’s all about the grill.

Okay, maybe there are a few more secrets to a successful soiree. But the grill is center stage.

The most important part of planning is making sure that you are ready when your guests arrive. Prepare your food ahead of time, and keep your food choices as simple as possible. Expect a few guests to show up early, so make sure your sink is empty of dirty dishes, and you’re enjoying your first glass of wine.

And use some of your creative juices to come up with a memorable tablescape that speaks volumes about your personal taste and fun loving personality.

Decorating your table doesn’t have to break your budget. Simply rummage through your house for ideas and ways to use what you already have to make stunning settings.

To make the easy, delicious menu in this blog, all you really need are those “three” secrets―and, of course, a little prep work. (But only a little, I promise.) So gather your friends and family, follow my tips and tricks, and party hard!

Weather permitting, I usually set up inside and outside. But if the weather doesn’t cooperate, I make my indoor tablescape as outdoorsy as possible.

I set up a wow-factor table with a mixture of lots of colors and various plate patterns. Rainbow colored paper napkins complete a party picnic atmosphere.

Go through all your platters and bowls and pick your most colorful. Add some grill pans, cast iron fry pans, and any other bowls and serving trays you can find to create a memorable and funky tablescape.

Have some fun with it! I like to mismatch glassware to add even more color and creativity. And don’t forget the flowers. You don’t have to spend a fortune, but choose some bright and cheery flowers in all sizes and place them in any old vibrantly colored containers. You can also take stemmed glassware and place them upside down over flower buds and then set candles or battery operated tea lights on top for a unique and beautiful floral arrangement.

If you want to keep your party super casual, you can serve wine in regular drinking glasses. Set up the bar using brightly colored trays or plastic dishes to add color and flair to your cocktail set up. Good wine, top shelf Vodka, a martini shaker, and an extensive beer selection should be all you need for a simple bar set up. You can also whip up a pitcher of sangria or other signature drink. Add water and a variety of sodas and fruit drinks for the non-drinkers and designated drivers, and you should be set.

I usually set up an inflatable drink center. This allows bar access from all sides, prevents traffic jams, and looks impressive. Chill white wine two hours in advance, and make sure to put out extra ice, glassware, a bottle opener, corkscrew, and appropriate garnishes.

And if you’re the creative type, you can make your own drink charms to identify drinkers with their drinks.

Turn holiday lights into summer sparklers and adorn your porch posts, railings and tree trunks.

And don’t forget your favorite tunes! Nothing like a little music to get the party started.

Make sure to have plenty of appetizers set up in the kitchen. This way, when your guests want to chat it up while you’re preparing dinner, there are plenty of good eats available.

My go-to summer dinner menu is to grill up some boneless shell and/or rib eye steaks, some lobster tails, and fresh corn on the cob.

My final menu touch is a beautiful salad. I usually go with a wedge salad with loads of halved cherry tomatoes, adorned with bleu cheese and bacon. I mean really, who doesn’t like bacon?

My second go to salad is romaine lettuce, olives, onions, sweet cherry peppers and cherry tomatoes set up like a flower garden. If you’re on the fence about which salad to go with and have a lot of plant-eaters, prepare both!

And don’t forget some fresh bread.

If I have some extra time the night before my party, although not needed at all, I whip up my fave and easy-to-prepare boneless buffalo chicken (see all recipes below). I fry them and then finish them up in the oven the next day right before I begin my grilling.

And for the non-meat eaters, I usually offer a small sampling of cold poached salmon, and an assortment of veggie appetizers ordered from my local Middle Eastern restaurant.

For dessert, there is nothing like a fresh pie from a local farm with three or four containers of Haagen-Dazs ice cream flavors on the side. And okay, if you must, some fruit.

End the evening with a good strong pot of coffee.

Voila! PARTY TIME.

Steak on the Barbie
Note: Cooking time is based on an 8-10 ounce steak

Boneless Rib Eye and Shell Steaks (one 8-10 ounce steak per person)
Kosher salt (Kosher salt is less soluble and less dense than table salt and breaks down proteins and releases natural juices.)
Cracked Pepper

Season room temperature steaks with salt and cracked pepper before grilling. Arrange steaks on high heat on the grill and cook 4 minutes on the first side, rotating it 60 to 90 degrees midway through if you want to produce restaurant-style grill marks. The steaks are ready to turn when you begin to see moisture on the upper side of the steak. Turn the steaks over and continue to grill 2 to 3 minutes for medium-rare (an internal temperature of 135 degrees F), again rotating steaks 60 to 90 degrees midway through. For medium, grill steaks for 5 to 7 minutes (140 degrees F), for medium-well, grill the steaks for 8 to 10 minutes (150 degrees F). Do NOT overcook your steaks. You can always throw them back on the grill if they are not done enough for your guests.
Rest the steaks for approximately 5 minutes before serving.

Grilled Lobster tails
Lobster tails (1 4-ounce tail per person)
Butter
garlic or shallots
parsley
lemon
Kosher salt & pepper

Defrost lobster tails, if frozen. While lobster tails are still defrosting, cut away and remove the thin underside membrane entirely with sharp kitchen scissors, leaving flesh fully exposed.
Melt butter in a small pan and sauté the garlic or shallots for 1-2 minutes or until soft. Squeeze in some lemon, fresh parsley, and a little kosher salt and pepper. Brush some of the butter mixture onto the lobster meat.
Place lobster tails, flesh side up on the grill for 3-5 minutes or until the shells turn bright red. Brush meat again with butter mixture, and turn and grill for 3-5 minutes or until flesh turns white. Turn the meat flesh side up once more and add more butter mixture. Turn the flesh side down again only if needed, and cook for 1-2 more minutes. Place lobster tails on a platter garnished with lemon wedges and fresh parsley sprigs. Serve with remaining melted butter mixture.

Teri’s Delish Boneless Buffalo Chicken

You gotta have hot sauce:
1 1/2 cups hot sauce + 1/2 heaping teaspoon cayenne pepper + 2 Tablespoons butter + 2 Tablespoons water = Yum

Hot Sauce:
Place sauce ingredients above in a small pan and simmer 4-5 minutes until well blended. Remove sauce from heat and set aside.

Chicken:
3 cups flour
1 ½ cups buttermilk (Fat-free works too)
3 pounds skinless chicken breast (1” thick – cut into 2” x 2” pieces)
1 ½ teaspoon salt
¾ teaspoon ground black pepper
Peanut Oil (vegetable oil is okay too)
Celery sticks

Mix flour, salt, and pepper in a bowl. Place buttermilk in a separate bowl. Cut chicken into pieces. Heat oil for frying.
Place the chicken pieces in flour, then dip them into the buttermilk and back into the flour. Shake off any excess flour and carefully place chicken pieces into hot oil and fry until golden brown. Remove chicken pieces and drain on a paper towel. When all the chicken has been cooked and drained, place them in a large container.
(You can stop here, refrigerate the cooked chicken, and pick up the recipe the next day.)
When you are ready to serve the buffalo chicken, cover the cooked pieces with half the hot sauce and gently stir until all nuggets have been coated.
Then place the chicken pieces on a non-stick baking sheet and bake in a 350-degree oven for 10-15 minutes. Serve with the rest of the hot sauce, bleu cheese dressing and celery sticks.

Iceberg Wedge Salad
Iceberg lettuce (one-quarter wedge per person). Halved cherry tomatoes (red and yellow if possible)
Bacon (two slices crispy cooked bacon per wedge cut into ½-inch pieces)
Fresh crumbled bleu cheese
Bleu cheese dressing (I like Marie’s)
chopped egg (optional)

Discard outer leaves of the lettuce and quarter each head through the core so that each quarter holds together and place them on a large serving platter.
Sprinkle halved cherry tomatoes over each wedge.
At this point, you can sprinkle the crumbled bleu cheese, bacon, and bleu cheese dressing on top of the salad and serve immediately. Or if you prefer, you can serve the iceberg and tomatoes on a platter, with the crumbled bleu cheese, bacon, and bleu cheese dressing on the side.

Romaine Flower Salad
Head of romaine lettuce
Artichoke hearts
Cherry tomatoes
Sweet red cherry peppers, cored
Red onion sliced
Pitted black olives
Pitted green Olives
Pepperoncini
Basil leaves

Lay out the romaine lettuce leaves on a large platter. Place the cherry tomatoes and sweet red cherry peppers at the top of the platter and place the artichoke hearts in between as shown in the photo. Add the black olives on the bottom of the tray and place some green olives above them. Place pepperoncini on the bottom of the romaine, and add basil leaves.

Corn on the cob
Corn
Olive oil
Kosher salt & pepper
Water
Aluminum foil

Shuck the corn and place each ear on a separate piece of aluminum foil. Sprinkle salt & pepper, and a little olive oil on each cob. Take a teaspoon of water and add it to each cob. Then roll up the corn with the aluminum foil and grill them on high for 15 minutes, turning occasionally. Place the corn on a platter either with or without the aluminum foil.