As a wordsmith, I know that one word can change a life or a sentence.
One word. That’s all it takes.
In this case, it took two:
EVEN and EVER.
It all started this past Sunday afternoon while hosting my daughter’s BRIDAL SHOWER.
The day had challenges, but I think it turned out okay, EVEN though the food was COLD,
which was a crying shame because it was yummy.
Just iced-COLD.
But I stayed calm. I didn’t yell or carry on. I stayed positive because it was my daughter’s special day.
Also, my favorite cake was being served: ITALIAN RUM CAKE with vanilla and chocolate pudding, extra Rum flavoring, “dressed” with snow-white whipped cream. (The BAKER used the word “dressed,” and as soon as I heard it, I vowed never to use the word “topped” again.)
When I ordered the cake, I asked the BAKER to adorn it with the couple’s engagement photo and then, underneath the image, to write the words:
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
It’s too long of a story to tell here, but I’ll tell it anyway. When I went to pick up the cake, the BAKER was surrounded by many—too many—undressed cakes, mine included…
I waited patiently for the BAKER to finish “dressing” my cake, and when he shouted twice that I was making him nervous, I twice skulked to my car to while away my precious time.
And because he was late, I was late. So, when the BAKER nervously presented the ITALIAN RUM CAKE to me, camouflaged by a glass display of Italian pastries, I said, “It looks fine,” EVEN though I couldn’t see it.
I’m not making excuses here. I’m just saying.
At the BRIDAL SHOWER, everyone enjoyed introductions, music, and mingling, and seeing my daughter so happy was pure JOY.
JOY.
That’s not a word you’ll hear coming out of my mouth very often.
Okay, not EVER.
But I’ll say it loud and proud. I was experiencing JOY.
And the BRIDAL SHOWER was going better than EVER.
Games were played, prizes were won, and then the COLD food came out.
The PARTY POINT PERSON tried to heat up that COLD food with chafing dish candles, but the air conditioner vent kept blowing out the flames.
Four employees, including the bartender, hovered around the food, investigating the situation, but to no avail; we all ate COLD food.
And because the food was COLD, the PARTY POINT PERSON said she felt bad and would put out more food. I told the PARTY POINT PERSON it wasn’t necessary to put out more food because everyone was full.
And everyone was full because they had already eaten,
COLD food.
I also told the PARTY POINT PERSON that if she were to put out more food, she might want to move the buffet server station away from the air conditioner vent duh. (I didn’t say, “duh,” because of the JOY thing, but I thought it.)
The PARTY POINT PERSON took my station relocation suggestion to heart because she immediately moved the buffet servers to another wall and then put out more food,
which was also COLD.
At that point, I was still determined to fill myself up with JOY, so I feigned serenity and was now totally and utterly dependent upon the ITALIAN RUM CAKE being the best ITALIAN RUM CAKE it could be to make up for the COLD food.
The almost-groom arrived at the BRIDAL SHOWER with a stunning bouquet at 3 pm, and the cake-cutting/photo op was scheduled for 3:30.
When the PARTY POINT PERSON brought out the cake, my daughter and I were aghast at the inscription:
HAPPILY EVEN AFTER
My daughter thought it was hilarious while I stared in horror.
My doctor friend, who was in attendance, promptly grabbed a knife and meticulously performed surgery on the N, turning it into a near-perfect R.
Well, not an R…an r.
!!! Thanks to Dr. Andrea, the ITALIAN RUM CAKE now said:
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
And EVEN though we righted the BAKER’S wrong, the original inscription on the ITALIAN RUM CAKE was a ginormous hit.
It was such a hit that the BRIDAL SHOWER guests took more photos of the botched cake message of:
HAPPILY EVEN AFTER
than photos taken of the soon-to-be-married couple cutting the surgically amended version:
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
!!!
Once the EVEN was punctiliously changed to EVER, the ITALIAN RUM CAKE was couple-cut and served.
FROZEN.
So FROZEN that it was difficult to cut.
And also, I almost broke a tooth on a hard candy pearl that the BAKER had strewn all over the “dressing” of the cake. Those suckers were lethal. That ITALIAN RUM CAKE should have come with a warning:
HAPPILY EVEN AFTER you break a tooth on the hard candy pearls.
Needless to say, there was a lot of ITALIAN RUM CAKE left, so I took it home. And once it thawed, it was fabulously delicious.
Despite the COLD food and the FROZEN ITALIAN RUM CAKE, I think the BRIDAL SHOWER was a success.
But I still haven’t been able to get that darn inscription
HAPPILY EVEN AFTER
out of my head.
I might EVEN like it better than “dressing.”